Heartfelt Words

In this world, some people will leave you, some will support you. But only few will stay with you on the journey.

Here i am, take me
As an offering
Here i am, giving every heartbeat
For your glory take me

O God, your mercy and grace I take comfort in. Your favor and presence I desire. Amen.

A God sent business mentor

God is really good! Yesterday I had a long meeting with Jonathan Ang, a church member who has over 20 years of experience in his IT firm. It was a very fruitful business meeting in which he was blessing me spiritually by sharing with me the experiences that he went through in business and how God was the pillar of strength and direction. I have finally met a godly christian brother who is humble, and understand what I am going through. Thank you Lord for this divine appointment.

Through the meeting, I learned quite a few things which impacted me greatly.
1) Wait before God
2) Surrender every business to God
3) Do not quicken my feet into any business opportunity
4) Await God’s direction through waiting before Him
5) Go only when God releases favor

An obedient child of God does all of the above. I pray O Lord that our fellowship would grow stronger and I am very excited for the plans that you have for Uncle Jonathan and me. Lead us Lord in our business venture. Amen! =)

Getting back to Journaling

The past 2 months was pretty hectic and yet at times lonely. I am just so glad that fyp is finally over. Lord those times i feel alone, I felt all my close friends are no longer around with Jo in the States and Darren no longer in church. I just feel my heart wrench in pain. But I know you are faithful and you will forever be a friend who will never leave me. I thank you Lord for your faithfulness.

Now that it is my holidays with more free time in my hand. I wanna come back to journal about the life lessons that you taught me.

Finally taken off my cast

Wow its been months since I last came here. The past few months lots of things happened and though I dont really like to blog but I guess today I am right here again. Blogging has never been my thing though from the start I wanted to keep a journal of what I had went through in my life. And also to remember the goodness of the Lord that he has shown me through all these while.

To start off, I finally removed my cast after 2 months of having it due to a fracture from a basketball game. Thank God for seeing me through this period of my life and thankfully being a homely person I didnt really felt frustrated not being able to walk much or go out. Though the cast is off, now’s the real challenge to learn how to walk again haha.. My leg felt absolutely like jelly when I removed the castwith totally no strength and it feels so painful to even exert any force on the floor with it. Guess I will have another 1 month of physiotherapy treatment before I can walk again. I do miss the fellowship of my brothers and sisters at church.

During this whole period of staying at home, work has taken alot of my time and though everything seems to be moving very well despite the current economic crisis, I still feel I have not fully used this 2 months for what God really wants me to use it for - which is to draw a closer relationship with Him.

A broken heart in worship

Thank you God! Today’s worship was so good. In the beginning as I was worshipping right in front of the altar at YA service. During the praise songs I felt quite weird because there was no one beside me clapping along with me. I felt like everyone was far apart and could not really feel the unity of worshipping together as one whole body.

When the worship songs came, I felt very sad and my heart was so broken. That was when I told you that my desire would be to bring my friends to church and to worship alongside me. How great that would be! To have my beloved friends worshipping you with me. At that point I really felt like the next moment I would see them all around me. In my brokenness you caused a stirring within me and I felt your fire consume me. I haven’t felt this empowering outpour of your fire and annointing on me for quite a long time already. Today when I encountered you in worship, it was so indescribable. How I hoped worship didnt have to end then.

Dear Father, I love you. Thank you for the burden you place in me for the lost souls. Thank you so much. I can’t thank you enough Lord. My prayer is that one day I will be able to minister to the poor and lead them to you. Thank you for giving me such a burden and love for the poor. That is where my true satisfaction comes from, to see the poor rejoice in you knowing that there is no lack in your grace and blessings. This I commit to you Lord. Amen!

Take care bro, God is with you

Just came home from sending Joseph off on his flight to US. Writing this, I do feel a bit sad. For the past 3 years of my life, I have been meeting up with Joseph every week for accountability. I remember the times when we would meet at church, sing praises to God, being completely transparent before each other with our struggles and weaknesses, sharing our lives with each other. Those were the times I learned the importance of fellowship and walking alongside with a brother and not as a lone ranger.

God I pray that your blessing will go with him as he spends the next 4 years sutdying at US. I ask of you Lord that you would keep him from evil and temptations, that his desires will be attuned to yours. May he never leave you or forsake you or fall to the wayward path as he journeys on in life. Let it be a fruitful, trying yet a journey that would always bring him on his knees to you in a humble and contrite spirit. Go with him my Lord, this I pray. In Jesus name, Amen!

My Lord, in the quietness there is only you and me. I love you Father, may I grow to become like Jesus. For the human heart is selfish, but your grace and love is ever so freely given without any hesitation. I want that Lord, to be a giver and a reflector of your love to the people that are in need of you. All this I commit myself to you. Amen.

 PR: wait…  I: wait…  L: wait…  LD: wait…  I: wait… wait…  I: wait…  L: wait…  C: wait…  SD: wait…

Choose - God’s calling or my way

Thank you Lord for the refreshing time with you earlier. Indeed too much work and less time with you offsets the balance of Christian living. In the past few days, I was super energetic and passionate in preparing to set up my company. It was so exciting and I felt at times I could work through the night forgoing my sleep thankfully I din do that due to school and health.

When I was so engrossed with my work, sometimes I spend lesser time with you. Lord I want you to be part of all that I am doing simply the center of it all. Just last night I suddenly had this very depressing feeling of being all alone in my business venture. Maybe it’s because I am still trying to build up my core team and feel like there’s so much in this world that I have to face and it aren’t as easy as it seems especially when meeting up with clients etc. But I think most part of it came from not being able to feel your presence with me on this venture.

At times I am in such a dilemma over which path I should really take on. I am so passionate about doing SEO business and starting my own company. Yet at times the image of your calling of my life keeps coming back to me. I know what I must do to fulfill your calling for my life. God show my thy word and a heart that obeys the truth.

I just want you to be a part of me, sometimes it can be really frightening when you take the helm and all of me. Between my interest and your interest. I believe Lord that you place in me the interest and ability to do business. That I should use the talents that you have give me. Yet at the same time I feel by really giving you my all and letting you take charge which at times might steer me away from doing what I like, that’s when I would be fulfilling all that you created me to be. Help me Lord, that as your Spirit moulds me to become more like Jesus, that I would surrender every part of me to you. Thank you Lord.

“What good is it if a man gains the whole world but yet loses his own soul in the process.” - Matthew 16:26

Being rich isn’t all that satisfying

Throughout the past few months of my life, I have been living a life that had all my needs well taken care of. Not to say that it wasn’t the case all these years. Indeed God has provided and cared for me well all along. But in the last 8 months with my Internet Career taking off, I have had the luxury of spending on good food often without having to worry about the cost.

There were times I thought of driving a convertible and how good it would be..ironically those thoughts depresses me. I came to a point of my life where I felt making money can be so meaningless at times. Especially when I was making more than excess of what my needs demanded. I realized that without a purpose of what to do with money, it is meaningless making them.

All these while doing business, my perceived value of money changed drastically. Millions were no longer big in my eyes. I know that if I put my soul on the line chasing after money, those figures aren’t hard to achieve. But what is the purpose of it all?

My heart breaks for the poor who are facing hunger everyday. I feel that way even as I write. At times I felt happier with the thought just having enough to live by daily. I wouldn’t mind that simple lifestyle. Being wealthy brings about a truck load of responsibilities especially when one is a child of God. After reading about Rick Warren’s news about his wife getting cancer and the millions that his book sales brought in, he was burdened with the responsibility on how he is going to use that money.

I figured that if I were to use my money to buy luxurious items, it would just bring me deeper into the pit of emptiness. I have once again come to the conclusion that unless and unless I do what God specifically calls me to do, apart from that everything else is meaningless. Sometimes the allure of success in business can be strong and at times ministering to people in the business world might seem like a way of glorifying God. But I don’t think that’s what exactly God wants me to do in life. I am confident that God has much better plans, a purpose for my life that would far glorify him more than me trying to find a way and squeeze ministry in it.

Lord, you have all of me. I don’t want my way. I want yours. For it is only yours, that can truly bring me the utmost satisfaction that I can ever find.

Not my will. But yours be done, Lord.

Drawing Near

Today was quite depressing for me. I did not do too well for my Data Structure and Algorithms paper today. Everything seemed so meaningless to me today. Even the work that I do online.

Amidst all these emptiness, I thank you Lord for your comfort. It is only through you that I can find full satisfaction. Simply waiting before my Lord and lingering in your tangible presence comforts my heart to know that you are here with me. Words can’t fully express my gratitude Lord. Once again I have come to the realization that anything I do outside the will of God is meaningless. Help me to stay focus and in your will Lord. Amen!

“Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” - James 4:8a

Father’s Day

Last night my family and I went out for dinner to celebrate Father’s Day. It was a sumptuous dinner along Bukit Timah Road and I gave my family a treat :) What really warmed my heart was when my Dad said thank you to me in Cantonese after that. Now I can’t remember when was the last time I heard it, normally it’s just an acknowledgment but last night it was the words thank you. That really meant a lot to me. Thank you Lord, I pray that my relationship with my parents will get better and better as time goes by.

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